But what about Gavin & Skylar?

When we got Ainsley's diagnosis, one of my first questions was "what will this mean for Gavin?" Later I wondered how and when to tell him. When will he notice that something is different? Adrian & I decided to leave it alone until he asks us about something he's noticed. The only thing he asked about were the names of his therapists. We explained that he didn't have therapists come to play with him when he was a baby.

One day as I was taking Gavin to Pre-K, he got upset that he wasn't going to be there with Miss Jane, Ainsley's PT, and that he wouldn't know what to work on with her. I explained that Miss Jane leaves notes about what they work on, and that we could read it together that evening. That was kind of the end of it for awhile.

Then on his 6th birthday, as we were planning to go to the Buddy Walk later that day, Gavin asked "What's Down Syndrome?" We explained that it changes the way Ainsley learns to do things, and that it may take longer for her to learn something but that she will learn to do everything that he can do. Honestly, it's not something that we talk much about.

On Life with Bubba, Chicky and Nika , Bethany explains:

Last year I attended a conference in which I was able to hear Dr. Brian Skotko do a sibling workshop. I just came across this list of great tips to remember when dealing with siblings of a child with special needs, as written by Sue Levine and Dr. Skotko ...

1. Be open and honest, explaining Down syndrome as early as possible. Encourage other children to ask questions; answer them on their level as honestly as possible. But don’t wait for siblings to askquestions. Bring up the topic routinely in conversation.

2. Allow brothers and sisters to express negative feelings. Acknowledge the fact that sometimes it is hard to be a brother or sister tosomeone with a disability And don’t expect siblings to be saints.

3. Recognize the difficult moments that brothers and sisters may be experiencing. As brothers and sisters grow up, they often begin to realize that not everyone in society shares their family’s beliefs and values. Recognize situations that may be potentially embarrassing or stressful and do what you can to help minimize the difficulty.

4. Limit caregiving responsibilities. Children need to be children. Allow them to be brothers and sisters, rather than becoming an extra parent.Your children with disabilities also benefit from having siblings rather than a family full of parents.

5. Recognize the individuality and uniqueness of each child in the family. Be sure to point out what makes your children special; they want to know that you notice them, too. Celebrate their accomplishments and schedule special time with each of your children.

6. Be fair. Listen to both sides of the story and be certain to make sure each child has responsibilities appropriate to their level of ability

7. Take advantage of supports for siblings. Both local and national groups have opportunities for siblings to meet each other. Such experiences are often validating.

8. Encourage parents to access support for themselves. When parents seek out support systems for themselves, they tend to be better equipped for the journey.


These are good guidelines for Adrian & I to keep in mind in the years to come. For now though, Gavin rarely mentions it and I think that's a good thing. Skylar isn't old enough to know much about it yet. To her, Ainsley is her older sister; the one who steals her toys, shares her sippy cup, and knows how to ask to watch Baby Signing Time.

Yes, Ainsley has DS. But she also has a great smile, an adorable laugh, a mischevious streak, and a hug that melts away a day's worries. And that's way more important than anything else.

Baby Signing Time

Best Buy is having a sale on the Baby Signing Time collections today:

Volumes 1-3 This is normally $59.98 and is on sale for $14.99

Volumes 4-7 This is normally $99.95 and is on sale for $14.99

Shhhh...don't tell Ainsley, but I picked up Volumes 4-7 for her Christmas present. Mimi Julie got her volumes 1-4 for her birthday this year. She's been watching them & learning signs very quickly. Her speech is delayed and these have been great! She is communicating with us a little more each day. These DVDs are her favorite thing to watch, especially while we're making dinner. The songs are catchy and most of the signs are pretty easy to pick up. (I know, we've already got one of those DVDs, but it was a package deal...so I guess I'll have a DVD to give away.)

Skylar & Gavin enjoy watching them, too. Gavin is always anxious to use the signs he's learned and practice with Ainsley. These aren't something that are made specifically for children with Down Syndrome, but they have helped our little lady a lot.

Hooray for football!

There was a story that was featured a couple weeks ago about a football player in Austin, Texas that scored a touchdown. The cool thing is that this player has Down Syndrome.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/video/down-syndrome-football-player-ike-ditzenberger-scores-touchdown-11797819

I don't know who I'm more proud of: Ike, his teammates, their opponents, or the coaches. Everybody worked together to help Ike fulfill a dream. His dream of scoring a touchdown is one more example of how people with Down Syndrome are more alike than different.

Hooray for football! And congratulations on the touchdown, Ike!!

Down Syndrome Pregnancy e-book

We found out a month before Ainsley was born that she had Down Syndrome. This was obviously pretty late in the pregnancy and had started a month before that. If I had the option, I wouldn't change the way that everything happened.

This website (http://downsyndromepregnancy.org/) is for anyone receiving a diagnosis of Down Syndrome for their baby or even for medical professionals. There is a free e-book available and it looks great!

There is a lot of information to process with this diagnosis, and it can sound very scary and overwhelming at the time. Ainsley is awesome, and we are so thankful for everything that she's brought to our lives. Adrian & I know that God moved in our lives and made us better people through her.

31 for 21!!

It's October, so it's time for 31 fo 21! For the next 31 days, I'm going to try to blog each day (big stretch for me, I know...) about our lives with Ainsley. There's so much more to Ainsley than her diagnosis of Down Syndrome.

So for the next month I'm going to make a real effort to share a glimpse into how "normal" our lives are. Or as normal as it is with 3 kids ages 6 & younger. But it is what it is, we love it, and I'm more than happy to share it with you. :)

If there is anything you would like to know, please leave a comment. I'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination but I will do my best to find an answer. And I'll learn something new, too!

Father's Day 2010 at OneTrueMedia.com

Happy Father's Day, Daddy! We love you sooo much!

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

A good night

I'm amazed by my kids. I love to watch them play together, help each other, volunteer for the occasional chore, figure out how a toy works or how to take it apart, or anything. I just love hanging out with them. I love the way they pile on Adrian on the sofa. And I love the way it makes him happier than anything. That's a good night at our house. Dinner, baths, jammies, and 4 of my favorite people all together.

Of course, if you know my kiddos (or have any of your own), you know that these moments can be fleeting. It usually starts by someone being silly, or jockeying for another spot, or some unwanted assistance. Skylar still gets a little overwhelmed when Gavin & Ainsley start being silly and loud, so she's usually the first one in tears. But it all works itself out. These kids are awesome, and we're so blessed to be their parents!!